Running with Depression

As if exercise wasn't hard enough to do or fit into your 'busy' diary, you somehow have to find some inner strength to not only put on some workout clothes but to actually go out and work up a sweat. Quite frankly this has not happened for me.

Where is that inner strength? Where has the passion for fitness gone? ...it's simple, my dog ate it.

I have a black dog and its name is depression. It follows me everywhere and consumes every part of my life. Learning to live with a black dog is difficult. Learning to control your black dog is even harder. Things I used to like, love and enjoy are simply a long cardiac arrest of doing nothing. You just lay there. Motionless. Emotionless.

I keep waiting for the moment the light bulb will come on, the moment you get slapped in the face with reality, the moment you stick up two fingers at your black dog and say I'm going to do what I want.

....but it doesn't come.

My friends do their best with their researched 'things to say (and not) to someone who has depression' but at the end of the day, their lack of understanding my exact position is my ammunition to keep them at arms length.

But something has changed. A change that was bound to happen and a change that only I can change its course. My body has inevitably changed shape due to my lack of exercise. The point has come where I don't like how my body has become. I miss my athletic toning. I miss my physical strength. I miss my endurance. It's time to get it back. It's time to be in charge again.

I've signed up for a half marathon later in the year. In a few months actually. My friends are surprised. 'Why not a 5k or a 10k?' 'You don't make things easy on yourself'. I'm not surprised of their initial lack of support. They know how their 'fitness freak' friend has become the anti-workout one. The fact of the matter is this. I don't see a half marathon as a big deal. No matter what race I signed up for it would still require the same from me; commitment, desire, sticking to a schedule. I don't know if I'm going to run the whole 13.1 miles but I will complete it. The added bonus of this race. It's in a place where I have a great friend. A super added bonus is my great friend has an equally great other half I consider a friend too. So not only will I get to do a race, get another medal for my bedroom post, but also see two friends (of whom I don't see much of due to geography).

13.1 is my number and I'm gunning for it.

London Marathon 2012

So the ballot results were announced recently. People were opening magazines with either congratulations or commiserations. I decided a few months back to enter again for a second year in a row and found myself very surprised, I got a place! After all I have read and heard, I’ve yet to hear of a similar story. First two attempts of entering the ballot, I’ve secured a place in one of the best marathons in the world once again. This was unbelievable and an incredible achievement already. I'm two for two.

Armed with my first experience, I believe I will be more equipped to achieve better results in 2012. My first goal however is to remain 100% fit. This wasn’t the case last year. With four weeks to go I injured my hamstring and knew I wouldn’t be able to run the whole course. Despite this, every mile was completed and my London 2011 medal proudly hangs off my bed post.

Running the London marathon was a childhood dream come true. Needless to say I got emotional crossing that finish line. Now I have the opportunity to run around London again and I’m very excited at this prospect. To race around London the same year that the summer Olympics are being held sends shivers down my spine. This is going to be one great race. Hope to see you there!

Royal Park Half Marathon

The time quickly came for me to undergo a run through a few parks and down the what seemed never ending Embankment. Yes I’m referring to the Royal Park half marathon.

This was my first attempt at the distance even though I completed a full marathon earlier this year. This race was very well organised and the support was fantastic. I highly recommend this race to anyone. And I truly mean anyone. I saw so many competitors from all types of backgrounds, shapes, sizes and abilities. Best of all it didn’t rain and the sun truly shined at the very end. It made laying down post race much enjoyable despite the throbbing of complete body ache.

Runners were supportive of each other, crowds gave endless encouragement, wonderful sights (all the arches, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square and the glorious royal parks). Oh and how could a girl forget... hot buff army men encouraging you to warm down after the race!

Overall I’d say go pick a half marathon that is near you and sign up. They are highly achievable, great fun and you get a medal to show off your hard work!

13.1 miles isn't too far.... is it?

Ok so in less than 6 weeks I shall be panting, sweating and dragging my sorry arse at any means possible to run through the Royal Gardens in London, running a grand total of 13.1 miles. Yes this is the Royal Park Half Marathon.

This is going to be my first race since the London marathon last April. What have I done in between?

Well after taking 6 weeks out after the marathon to lick my wounds, I returned to some gentle exercise then I went on holiday and dum dum duuuum I returned injured. But putting pieces together I evaluated my situation. I injured my hamstring 4 weeks before London marathon, I ran half of the marathon before the hamstring kicked in and wouldn't let me run anymore and so walked the rest, then trekking down the 3 miles in Yosemite National Park with a dodgey hammy, add that to uneven surface and I'm surprised all I damaged was my patella tendon.

So seeing as I've got off lightly, after resting, icing, ibuprofen, it was time to get some physio as 3 weeks passed and progress was slow. So I'm currently in physio and progress is coming along great. However RPHM isn't going to wait for me to be fully fit. But I will be on that start line, raving to go to complete the 13.1 miles. I know in my heart of hearts that I won't be able to run the full amount. I know I am capable of completing that distance at a running pace, but with my condition I'm going to follow my instinct to do a run/walk combo.

The best piece of advice that applies to everyone doing fitness (and in life too) is to follow your instinct. If you think your pain threshold is about to crash through, stop. If you feel light headed whilst running and you don't have the fluids to keep you going, stop. We all have these mental battles but the one voice we have to listen to is our inner voice. Stemming from our gut instinct. It will save you from further injury.

I'm back in the gym and my cardio is fast increasing but I've yet to get back out on the road and run. This will be more hard as my body has not been subjected to the impact. I will attempt to brave the field across my home as my first run. Running on a softer ground, like grass, will ease the impact on your body. This is perfect for those who don't like road running or those like myself coming back from an injury.

So the countdown is on. London, get ready.